We are in the process of potty training Jensen. During this process there have been many times that the desired outcome of Jensen actually sitting on the potty has not occurred. I find myself getting frustrated with the end result, which literally stinks. The fact that we have walked this process out three other times does not help or translate with this situation. The truth of the situation is that I am not upset with the potty training, I am upset that I cannot influence Jensen to bend to my expectation. I have crossed a relational boundary that has led to my frustration. Boundaries are important in any healthy relationship. The reality that one cannot control another person and to lay any level of ones personal satisfaction on them is completely out of bounds.
The first act that God establishes when creating the universe was to establish boundaries. He separated light and darkness, heaven and Earth, giving instructions as to the boundaries of human dominion which is over birds, cattle, and fish. Nowhere does God say dominate another person. In fact, to do so is to dominate the image of God (Genesis 1 v 26). The Good Shepherd is so established in boundaries that He will live with us and yet not violate any of our choices. I have often wondered how God can refrain from interfering, especially when he sees me about to make a poor decision. I believe it is because God is so free and self sufficient that my choice does not say anything about Him nor does it make or break Him. God is good with Himself which allows Him to deal with me. He will not violate me and as a result violate Himself.
Boundaries are important and I believe it assists with growth. I can try to control Jensen and frustrate our relationship or I can understand that Jensen is growing and when he decides to sit on the potty he will and I will be there to encourage and celebrate his growth. Likewise, I am growing and the Father established boundaries to assist with my growth. It may take a while, however I am growing in His image and He is sitting on the throne smiling from ear to ear saying “That's my boy.”
The key to healthy relationships is understanding that I am good with God and understanding my boundaries, which extend to governing one person, which is me. That is my lane and as long as I stay in that boundary peace and joy will flow. Outside of those boundaries are false expectations, frustration, and leads me to try to control my life by trying to control another person. I get to choose which boundaries I operate within every day.
Are we living within the boundaries that God established?
Do we use language such as I or if they would and so forth.... in our relationships?